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Isolation, detachment, from everything, pride, independence, the taste of nature, the absence of daily and material activity,the life within himself, the secret conflicts of chastity,a benevolent ecstasy towards all creation, had prepared Marius for this possession which is called passion. His worship of his father had gradually become a religion, and, like all religions, it had retreated to the depths of his soul. Something was required in the foreground. Love came.
A full month elapsed, during which Marius went every day to the Luxembourg. When the hour arrived, nothing could hold him back.--"He is on duty," said Courfeyrac. Marius lived in a state of delight. It is certain that the young girl did look at him.
He had finally grown bold, and approached the bench. Still, he did not pass in front of it any more, in obedience to the instinct of timidity and to the instinct of prudence common to lovers. He considered it better not to attract "the attention of the father." He combined his stations behind the trees and the pedestals of the statues with a profound diplomacy, so that he might be seen as much as possible by the young girl and as little as possible by the old gentleman. Sometimes, he remained motionless by the half-hour together in the shade of a Leonidas or a Spartacus, holding in his hand a book, above which his eyes, gently raised,sought the beautiful girl, and she, on her side, turned her charming profile towards him with a vague smile. While conversing in the most natural and tranquil manner in the world with the white-haired man,she bent upon Marius all the reveries of a virginal and passionate eye. Ancient and time-honored manoeuvre which Eve understood from the very first day of the world, and which every woman understands from the very first day of her life! her mouth replied to one, and her glance replied to another.
It must be supposed, that M. Leblanc finally noticed something, for often, when Marius arrived, he rose and began to walk about. He had abandoned their accustomed place and had adopted the bench by the Gladiator, near the other end of the walk, as though with the object of seeing whether Marius would pursue them thither. Marius did not understand, and committed this error. "The father" began to grow inexact, and no longer brought "his daughter" every day. Sometimes, he came alone. Then Marius did not stay. Another blunder.
Marius paid no heed to these symptoms. From the phase of timidity, he had passed, by a natural and fatal progress, to the phase of blindness. His love increased. He dreamed of it every night. And then, an unexpected bliss had happened to him, oil on the fire,a redoubling of the shadows over his eyes. One evening, at dusk,he had found, on the bench which "M. Leblanc and his daughter"had just quitted, a handkerchief, a very simple handkerchief,without embroidery, but white, and fine, and which seemed to him to exhale ineffable perfume. He seized it with rapture.This handkerchief was marked with the letters U. F. Marius knew nothing about this beautiful child,--neither her family name,her Christian name nor her abode; these two letters were the first thing of her that he had gained possession of, adorable initials,upon which he immediately began to construct his scaffolding.U was evidently the Christian name. "Ursule!" he thought,"what a delicious name!" He kissed the handkerchief, drank it in,placed it on his heart, on his flesh, during the day, and at night,laid it beneath his lips that he might fall asleep on it.
"I feel that her whole soul lies within it!" he exclaimed.
This handkerchief belonged to the old gentleman, who had simply let it fall from his pocket.
In the days which followed the finding of this treasure, he only displayed himself at the Luxembourg in the act of kissing the handkerchief and laying it on his heart. The beautiful child understood nothing of all this, and signified it to him by imperceptible signs.
"O modesty!" said Marius.
孤单,和一切脱节,傲气,独立性格,对自然界的爱好,物质方面日常活动的缺少,与世隔绝的生活,为洁身自好而进行的秘密斗争,对天地万物的爱慕,这一切都为马吕斯准备了被狂烈感情控制的条件。对他父亲的崇拜已逐渐变成一种宗教信仰,并且,和任何宗教信仰一样,已退藏在灵魂深处了。表层总还得有点什么,于是爱情便乘虚而入。
整整一个月过去了,在这期间,马吕斯天天去卢森堡公园。时间一到,什么也不能阻挡他。古费拉克常说他“上班去了”。马吕斯生活在好梦中。毫无疑问,那姑娘常在注视他。
到后来,他能放大胆逐渐靠近那条板凳了。但是他仍同时服从情人们那种怯弱和谨慎的本能,不再往前移动。他意识到不引起“父亲的注意”是有好处的。他运用一种深得马基雅弗利主义的策略,把他的据点布置在树和塑像底座的后面,让那姑娘很可能见到他,也让那老先生很不可能见到他。有时,在整整半个钟点里,他一动不动,待在任何一个莱翁尼达斯或任何一个斯巴达克的阴影①里,手里拿着一本书,眼睛却从书本上微微抬起,去找那美丽的姑娘,她呢,也带着不明显的微笑,把她那动人的侧影转向他这边。她一面和那白发男子极自然极安详地谈着话,一面又以热情的处女神态把一切梦想传达给马吕斯。这是由来已久的老把戏,夏娃在混沌初开的第一天便已知道,每个女人在生命开始的第一天也都知道。她的嘴在回答这一个,她的眼睛却在回答那一个。
①莱翁尼达斯和斯巴达克都是公园里的塑像。
但也应当相信,到后来白先生还是有所察觉的,因为,常常马吕斯一到,他便站起来走动。他放弃了他们常坐的地方转到小路的另一端,选择了那个角斗士塑像附近的一条板凳,仿佛是要看看马吕斯会不会跟随他们。马吕斯一点不懂,居然犯了这个错误。那“父亲”开始变得不准时了,也不再每天都领“他的女儿”来了。有时他独自一个人来。马吕斯见了便不再待下去。这又是一个错误。
马吕斯毫不注意这些征兆。他已从胆小期进入盲目期,这是自然的和必然的进步。他的爱情在发展中。他每晚都梦见这些事。此外他还遇到一件意外的喜事,火上加油,他的眼睛更加瞎了。一天,黄昏时候,他在“白先生和他女儿”刚刚离开的板凳上拾到一块手帕。一块极简单的手帕,没有绣花,但是白洁,细软,微微发出一种无以名之的芳香。他心花怒放地把它收了起来。手帕上有两个字母U.F.,马吕斯一点也不知道这个美丽的孩子的情况,她的家庭,她的名字,她的住处,全不知道,这两个字母是他得到的属于她的第一件东西,从这两个可爱的起首字母上,他立即开始营造他的空中楼阁。U当然是教名了。“Ursule!”(玉秀儿!)他想,“一个多么美妙的名字!”他吻着那手帕,闻它,白天,把它放在贴胸的心坎上,晚上,便压在嘴唇下面睡。
“我在这里闻到了她的整个灵魂!”他兴奋地说。
这手帕原是那老先生的,偶然从他衣袋里掉出来罢了。
在拾得这宝物后的几天中,他一到公园便吻那手帕,把它压在胸口。那美丽的孩子一点也不懂这是什么意思,连连用一些察觉不出的动作向他表示。
“害羞了!”马吕斯说。