He missed Nurse Duckett in Rome. There was not much else to do after Hungry Joe left on his mail run.
Yossarian missed Nurse Duckett so much that he went searching hungrily through the streets for Luciana, whoselaugh and invisible scar he had never forgotten, or the boozy, blowzy, bleary-eyed floozy in the overloaded1 whitebrassière and unbuttoned orange satin blouse whose naughty salmon-colored cameo ring Aarfy had thrown awayso callously2 through the window of her car. How he yearned3 for both girls! He looked for them in vain. He wasso deeply in love with them, and he knew he would never see either again. Despair gnawed4 at him. Visions besethim. He wanted Nurse Duckett with her dress up and her slim thighs5 bare to the hips6. He banged a thin streetwalker with a wet cough who picked him up from an alley7 between hotels, but that was no fun at all and hehastened to the enlisted8 men’s apartment for the fat, friendly maid in the lime-colored panties, who wasoverjoyed to see him but couldn’t arouse him. He went to bed there early and slept alone. He woke updisappointed and banged a sassy, short, chubby9 girl he found in the apartment after breakfast, but that was only alittle better, and he chased her away when he’d finished and went back to sleep. He napped till lunch and thenwent shopping for presents for Nurse Duckett and a scarf for the maid in the lime-coloured panties, who huggedhim with such gargantuan10 gratitude11 that he was soon hot for Nurse Duckett and ran looking lecherously12 forLuciana again. Instead he found Aarfy, who had landed in Rome when Hungry Joe returned with Dunbar, Natelyand Dobbs, and who would not go along on the drunken foray that night to rescue Nately’s whore from themiddle-aged military big shots holding her captive in a hotel because she would not say uncle.
“Why should I risk getting into trouble just to help her out?” Aarfy demanded haughtily14. “But don’t tell Nately Isaid that. Tell him I had to keep an appointment with some very important fraternity brothers.”
The middle-aged13 big shots would not let Nately’s whore leave until they made her say uncle.
“Say uncle,” they said to her.
“Uncle,” she said.
“No, no. Say uncle.”
“Uncle,” she said.
“She still doesn’t understand.”
“You still don’t understand, do you? We can’t really make you say uncle unless you don’t want to say uncle.
Don’t you see? Don’t say uncle when I tell you to say uncle. Okay? Say uncle.”
“Uncle,” she said.
“No, don’t say uncle. Say uncle.”
She didn’t say uncle.
“That’s good!”
“That’s very good.”
“It’s a start. Now say uncle.”
“Uncle,” she said.
“It’s no good.”
“No, it’s no good that way either. She just isn’t impressed with us. There’s just no fun making her say unclewhen she doesn’t care whether we make her say uncle or not.”
“No, she really doesn’t care, does she? Say ‘foot.’”
“Foot.”
“You see? She doesn’t care about anything we do. She doesn’t care about us. We don’t mean a thing to you, dowe?”
“Uncle,” she said.
She didn’t care about them a bit, and it upset them terribly. They shook her roughly each time she yawned. Shedid not seem to care about anything, not even when they threatened to throw her out the window. They wereutterly demoralized men of distinction. She was bored and indifferent and wanted very much to sleep. She hadbeen on the job for twenty-two hours, and she was sorry that these men had not permitted her to leave with theother two girls with whom the orgy had begun. She wondered vaguely15 why they wanted her to laugh when theylaughed, and why they wanted her to enjoy it when they made love to her. It was all very mysterious to her, andvery uninteresting.
She was not sure what they wanted from her. Each time she slumped16 over with her eyes closed they shook herawake and made her say “uncle” again. Each time she said “uncle,” they were disappointed. She wondered what“uncle” meant. She sat on the sofa in a passive, phlegmatic17 stupor18, her mouth open and all her clothing crumpledin a corner on the floor, and wondered how much longer they would sit around naked with her and make her sayuncle in the elegant hotel suite19 to which Orr’s old girl friend, giggling20 uncontrollably at Yossarian’s andDunbar’s drunken antics, guided Nately and the other members of the motley rescue party.
Dunbar squeezed Orr’s old girl friend’s fanny gratefully and passed her back to Yossarian, who propped21 heragainst the door jamb with both hands on her hips and wormed himself against her lasciviously22 until Natelyseized him by the arm and pulled him away from her into the blue sitting room, where Dunbar was alreadyhurling everything in sight out the window into the court. Dobbs was smashing furniture with an ash stand. Anude, ridiculous man with a blushing appendectomy scar appeared in the doorway23 suddenly and bellowed24.
“What’s going on here?”
“Your toes are dirty,” Dunbar said.
The man covered his groin with both hands and shrank from view. Dunbar, Dobbs and Hungry Joe just keptdumping everything they could lift out the window with great, howling whoops25 of happy abandon. They soonfinished with the clothing on the couches and the luggage on the floor, and they were ransacking26 a cedar27 closetwhen the door to the inner room opened again and a man who was very distinguished-looking from the neck up padded into view imperiously on bare feet.
“Here, you, stop that,” he barked. “Just what do you men think you’re doing?”
“Your toes are dirty,” Dunbar said to him.
The man covered his groin as the first one had done and disappeared. Nately charged after him, but was blockedby the first officer, who plodded28 back in holding a pillow in front of him, like a bubble dancer.
“Hey, you men!” he roared angrily. “Stop it!”
“Stop it,” Dunbar replied.
“That’s what I said.”
“That’s what I said,” Dunbar said.
The officer stamped his foot petulantly29, turning weak with frustration30. “Are you deliberately31 repeatingeverything I say?”
“Are you deliberately repeating everything I say?”
“I’ll thrash you.” The man raised a fist.
“I’ll thrash you,” Dunbar warned him coldly. “You’re a German spy, and I’m going to have you shot.”
“German spy? I’m an American colonel.”
“You don’t look like an American colonel. You look like a fat man with a pillow in front of him. Where’s youruniform, if you’re an American colonel?”
“You just threw it out the window.”
“All right, men,” Dunbar said. “Lock the silly bastard32 up. Take the silly bastard down to the station house andthrow away the key.”
The colonel blanched33 with alarm. “Are you all crazy? Where’s your badge? Hey, you! Come back in here!”
But he whirled too late to stop Nately, who had glimpsed his girl sitting on the sofa in the other room and haddarted through the doorway behind his back. The others poured through after him right into the midst of the othernaked big shots. Hungry Joe laughed hysterically34 when he saw them, pointing in disbelief at one after the otherand clasping his head and sides. Two with fleshy physiques advanced truculently35 until they spied the look ofmean dislike and hostility36 on Dobbs and Dunbar and noticed that Dobbs was still swinging like a two-handed club the wrought-iron ash stand he had used to smash things in the sitting room. Nately was already at his girl’sside. She stared at him without recognition for a few seconds. Then she smiled faintly and let her head sink to hisshoulder with her eyes closed. Nately was in ecstasy37; she had never smiled at him before.
“Filpo,” said a calm, slender, jaded-looking man who had not even stirred from his armchair. “You don’t obeyorders. I told you to get them out, and you’ve gone and brought them in. Can’t you see the difference?”
“They’ve thrown our things out the window, General.”
“Good for them. Our uniforms too? That was clever. We’ll never be able to convince anyone we’re superiorwithout our uniforms.”
“Let’s get their names, Lou, and—““Oh, Ned, relax,” said the slender man with practiced weariness. “You may be pretty good at moving armoreddivisions into action, but you’re almost useless in a social situation. Sooner or later we’ll get our uniforms back,and then we’ll be their superiors again. Did they really throw our uniforms out? That was a splendid tactic38.”
“They threw everything out.”
“The ones in the closet, too?”
“They threw the closet out, General. That was that crash we heard when we thought they were coming in to killus.”
“And I’ll throw you out next,” Dunbar threatened.
The general paled slightly. “What the devil is he so mad about?” he asked Yossarian.
“He means it, too,” Yossarian said. “You’d better let the girl leave.”
“Lord, take her,” exclaimed the general with relief. “All she’s done is make us feel insecure. At least she mighthave disliked or resented us for the hundred dollars we paid her. But she wouldn’t even do that. Your handsomeyoung friend there seems quite attached to her. Notice the way he lets his fingers linger on the inside of herthighs as he pretends to roll up her stockings.”
Nately, caught in the act, blushed guiltily and moved more quickly through the steps of dressing39 her. She wassound asleep and breathed so regularly that she seemed to be snoring softly.
“Let’s charge her now, Lou!” urged another officer. “We’ve got more personnel, and we can encircle—““Oh, no, Bill,” answered the general with a sigh. “You may be a wizard at directing a pincer movement in goodweather on level terrain40 against an enemy that has already committed his reserves, but you don’t always think so clearly anywhere else. Why should we want to keep her?”
“General, we’re in a very bad strategic position. We haven’t got a stitch of clothing, and it’s going to be verydegrading and embarrassing for the person who has to go downstairs through the lobby to get some.”
“Yes, Filpo, you’re quite right,” said the general. “And that’s exactly why you’re the one to do it. Get going.”
“Naked, sir?”
“Take your pillow with you if you want to. And get some cigarettes, too, while you’re downstairs picking up myunderwear and pants, will you?”
“I’ll send everything up for you,” Yossarian offered.
“There, General,” said Filpo with relief. “Now I won’t have to go.”
“Filpo, you nitwit. Can’t you see he’s lying?”
“Are you lying?”
Yossarian nodded, and Filpo’s faith was shattered. Yossarian laughed and helped Nately walk his girl out intothe corridor and into the elevator. Her face was smiling as though with a lovely dream as she slept with her headstill resting on Nately’s shoulder. Dobbs and Dunbar ran out into the street to stop a cab.
Nately’s whore looked up when they left the car. She swallowed dryly several times during the arduous41 trek42 upthe stairs to her apartment, but she was sleeping soundly again by the time Nately undressed her and put her tobed. She slept for eighteen hours, while Nately dashed about the apartment all the next morning shushingeverybody in sight, and when she woke up she was deeply in love with him. In the last analysis, that was all ittook to win her heart—a good night’s sleep.
The girl smiled with contentment when she opened her eyes and saw him, and then, stretching her long legslanguorously beneath the rustling43 sheets, beckoned44 him into bed beside her with that look of simpering idiocy45 ofa woman in heat. Nately moved to her in a happy daze46, so overcome with rapture47 that he hardly minded when herkid sister interrupted him again by flying into the room and flinging herself down onto the bed between them.
Nately’s whore slapped and cursed her, but this time with laughter and generous affection, and Nately settledback smugly with an arm about each, feeling strong and protective. They made a wonderful family group, hedecided. The little girl would go to college when she was old enough, to Smith or Radcliffe or Bryn Mawr—hewould see to that. Nately bounded out of bed after a few minutes to announce his good fortune to his friends atthe top of his voice. He called to them jubilantly to come to the room and slammed the door in their startled facesas soon as they arrived. He had remembered just in time that his girl had no clothes on.
“Get dressed,” he ordered her, congratulating himself on his alertness.
“Perchè?” she asked curiously48.
“Perchè?” he repeated with an indulgent chuckle49. “Because I don’t want them to see you without any clotheson.”
“Perchè no?” she inquired.
“Perchè no?” He looked at her with astonishment50. “Because it isn’t right for other men to see you naked, that’swhy.”
“Perchè no?”
“Because I say no!” Nately exploded in frustration. “Now don’t argue with me. I’m the man and you have to dowhatever I say. From now on, I forbid you ever to go out of this room unless you have all your clothes on. Is thatclear?”
Nately’s whore looked at him as though he were insane. “Are you crazy? Che succede?”
“I mean every word I say.”
“Tu sei pazzo!” she shouted at him with incredulous indignation, and sprang out of bed. Snarling51 unintelligibly,she snapped on panties and strode toward the door.
Nately drew himself up with full manly52 authority. “I forbid you to leave this room that way,” he informed her.
“Tu sei pazzo!” she shot back at him, after he had left, shaking her head in disbelief. “Idiota! Tu sei un pazzoimbecille!”
“Tu sei pazzo,” said her thin kid sister, starting out after her in the same haughty53 walk.
“You come back here,” Nately ordered her. “I forbid you to go out that way, too!”
“Idiota!” the kid sister called back at him with dignity after she had flounced past. “Tu sei un pazzo imbecille.”
Nately fumed54 in circles of distracted helplessness for several seconds and then sprinted55 out into the sitting roomto forbid his friends to look at his girl friend while she complained about him in only her panties.
“Why not?” asked Dunbar.
“Why not?” exclaimed Nately. “Because she’s my girl now, and it isn’t right for you to see her unless she’s fullydressed.”
“Why not?” asked Dunbar.
“You see?” said his girl with a shrug56. “Lui è pazzo!”
“Si, è molto pazzo,” echoed her kid sister.
“Then make her keep her clothes on if you don’t want us to see her,” argued Hungry Joe. “What the hell do youwant from us?”
“She won’t listen to me,” Nately confessed sheepishly. “So from now on you’ll all have to shut your eyes or lookin the other direction when she comes in that way. Okay?”
“Madonn’!” cried his girl in exasperation57, and stamped out of the room.
“Madonn’!” cried her kid sister, and stamped out behind her.
“Lui è pazzo,” Yossarian observed good-naturedly. “I certainly have to admit it.”
“Hey, you crazy or something?” Hungry Joe demanded of Nately. “The next thing you know you’ll be trying tomake her give up hustling58.”
“From now on,” Nately said to his girl, “I forbid you to go out hustling.”
“Perchè?” she inquired curiously.
“Perchè?” he screamed with amazement59. “Because it’s not nice, that’s why!”
“Perchè no?”
“Because it just isn’t!” Nately insisted. “It just isn’t right for a nice girl like you to go looking for other men tosleep with. I’ll give you all the money you need, so you won’t have to do it any more.”
“And what will I do all day instead?”
“Do?” said Nately. “You’ll do what all your friends do.”
“My friends go looking for men to sleep with.”
“Then get new friends! I don’t even want you to associate with girls like that, anyway. Prostitution is bad!
Everybody knows that, even him.” He turned with confidence to the experienced old man. “Am I right?”
“You’re wrong,” answered the old man. “Prostitution gives her an opportunity to meet people. It provides freshair and wholesome60 exercise, and it keeps her out of trouble.”
“From now on,” Nately declared sternly to his girl friend, “I forbid you to have anything to do with that wickedold man.”
“Va fongul!” his girl replied, rolling her harassed61 eyes up toward the ceiling. “What does he want from me?” sheimplored, shaking her fists. “Lasciami!” she told him in menacing entreaty62. “Stupido! If you think my friends areso bad, go tell your friends not to ficky-fick all the time with my friends!”
“From now on,” Nately told his friends, “I think you fellows ought to stop running around with her friends andsettle down.”
“Madonn’!” cried his friends, rolling their harassed eyes up toward the ceiling.
Nately had gone clear out of his mind. He wanted them all to fall in love right away and get married. Dunbarcould marry Orr’s whore, and Yossarian could fall in love with Nurse Duckett or anyone else he liked. After thewar they could all work for Nately’s father and bring up their children in the same suburb. Nately saw it all veryclearly. Love had transmogrified him into a romantic idiot, and they drove him away back into the bedroom towrangle with his girl over Captain Black. She agreed not to go to bed with Captain Black again or give him anymore of Nately’s money, but she would not budge63 an inch on her friendship with the ugly, ill-kempt, dissipated,filthy-minded old man, who witnessed Nately’s flowering love affair with insulting derision and would not admitthat Congress was the greatest deliberative body in the whole world.
“From now on,” Nately ordered his girl firmly, “I absolutely forbid you even to speak to that disgusting oldman.”
“Again the old man?” cried the girl in wailing64 confusion. “Perchè no?”
“He doesn’t like the House of Representatives.”
“Mamma mia! What’s the matter with you?”
“è pazzo,” observed her kid sister philosophically65. “That’s what’s the matter with him.”
“Si,” the older girl agreed readily, tearing at her long brown hair with both hands. “Lui è pazzo.”
But she missed Nately when he was away and was furious with Yossarian when he punched Nately in the facewith all his might and knocked him into the hospital with a broken nose.
33、内特利的妓女
在罗马，约塞连很想念达克特护士。亨格利.乔出发去执行军邮任务之后，他越发感到无所事事。他实在太想念达克特护士了，于是便急不可耐地跑到大街上，到处去寻找露西安娜。他从来没有忘掉露西安娜的笑声和她那从不让外人看见的伤疤，更没有忘掉那个嗜酒如命、头发蓬乱、泪眼模糊的浪荡女人。那女人总是穿着一件桔黄色的缎子衬衫，从来不扣扣子，胸脯上紧紧束着一只白色乳罩。她的那枚橙红色浮雕宝石戒指有一回被阿费无情地从她的汽车窗口扔了出去。他是多么渴望得到这两个女人啊！他徒劳地寻找着她们，他那么深深地爱着她们，可他知道，他永远也见不到她们中的任何一个了。绝望折磨着他，幻觉困扰着他。他真希望达克特护士就在他身边，裙子撩得高高的，露出她那修长的大腿和白白的屁股。在两个旅馆之间的一条小巷子里，一个又咳嗽又吐痰的瘦瘦的街头女郎拉住了他。他跟她做了一回爱，可是没有得到丝毫乐趣。他又跑到士兵公寓去找那个穿灰白色内裤、待人十分和气的胖女佣。她见到他高兴极了，可他却仍然打不起精神来，只好在那里独自早早上床睡觉。醒来时他依然感到无聊，吃罢早饭在公寓里找了一个活泼、丰满的矮个子姑娘鬼混了一通，觉得稍稍有一点乐趣，完事后就把她打发走了，自己接着睡觉。他一觉睡到开午饭，然后就上街去给达克特护士买礼物，还给穿灰白色内裤的胖女佣买了一条围巾，让她感激得不知道怎么做才好，一个劲地拥抱他。这下子又勾起了他对达克特护士的欲火，只好又一次色迷迷地跑出去寻找露西安娜。他没有找到露西安娜，却找到了阿费。阿费在罗马着陆时，正赶上亨格利.乔和邓巴、内特利、多布斯等人一起返回。那天晚上，一帮已人到中年的军方大人物把内特利的妓女扣在一家旅馆里，她不说“认输”两个字就不让她走。亨格利.乔等人喝得醉醺醺地去找那帮人打架，要把她救出来。阿费说什么也不愿意跟他们去。
“我为什么要仅仅为了救她出来而给自己惹麻烦呢？”阿费傲慢地质问道，“不过，别把我这句话告诉内特利。就告诉他我和兄弟互助会里几个非常重要的弟兄有一个约会。”
那帮军方中年大人物一定要让内特利的妓女说出“认输”两个字，才肯放她走。
“说‘认输’，”他们对她说。
“叔叔，”她说。
“不，不，说‘认输’。”
“叔叔，”她说。
“她还是不明白。”
“你还是不明白，是吗？你不想说‘认输’，我们是不能硬逼你说的。你明白吗？当我们叫你说‘认输’时，别叫我叔叔，好吗？说‘认输’。”
“叔叔，”她说。
“不，别叫叔叔，说‘认输’。”
她不再叫叔叔了。
“这就对了。”
“这很好。”
“这是个好的开端。现在，说‘认输’。”
“叔叔，”她说。
“这没有用。”
“不，这样也没有用。我们的话根本进不了她的脑子里去。我们要不要她说‘认输’，她一点都不在乎。这样要她说‘认输’也没有什么意思。”
“是呀，她一点都不在乎，是吗，说‘脚’。”
“脚。”
“你瞧见了吧？我们干什么，她都不在乎。她对我们一点也不在乎。我们对你毫无意义，是吗？”
“叔叔，”她说。
她对他们一点也不在乎，这一点弄得他们心烦意乱。每回她打哈欠时，他们就粗暴地摇晃她。她似乎对什么都不在乎，甚至当他们威胁说要把她从窗口扔出去时，她也无所谓。这真是一帮伤风败俗的上流人。她觉得很厌倦很无聊，很想躺下睡一觉。她已经连着伺候他们二十二个小时了。她是和另外两个姑娘一块来供他们寻欢作乐的，可他们不让她跟她们一块离开，这使她感到难过。她有些弄不明白，他们哈哈大笑的时候为什么要求她跟着笑。她也不明白，他们跟她做爱时为什么要求她做出一副快活的样子。对她来说，这一切全都这么难以理解，这么令人厌烦。
她拿不准他们到底要她干什么。每一回她闭上眼睛想打瞌睡时，他们都要把她摇醒，叫她说“叔叔”。可每一回她说“叔叔”时，他们又都显得很失望。她弄不清楚“叔叔”是什么意思。她驯顺而麻木地坐在长沙发上，神情恍惚，嘴微微张着。她所有的衣服都扔在地板的一个角落里。她不知道他们还要叫她这样一丝不挂地陪着他们在这套豪华的旅馆客房里坐多久，也不知道他们是不是还要逼她喊“叔叔”。就在这时，奥尔的老相好把内特利和这支救援队里其他穿着五花八门衣服的成员带进了这套客房。她一边领着他们往里走，一边放荡地笑话着约塞连和邓巴滑稽的醉态。
邓巴感激地捏了捏奥尔老相好的屁股，一把把她推到约塞连的怀里。约塞连双手抱住她的屁股，把她的身体抵在门框上，自己则猥亵地贴在她身上扭来扭去，直到内特利揪住他的胳膊把他从她身上拉开，推到那间蓝色起居室里。邓巴已经在那儿动手把能看得见的东西一件件从窗口往院子里面扔。多布斯则拿起一个烟灰缸架子砸家具。一个赤身裸体的人出现在门口，他的肚子上有一道阑尾炎开刀留下的红疤，模样非常滑稽。这人吼叫道：
“这儿出了什么事？”
“瞧瞧你这副脏样，”邓巴说。
这人双手捂住羞处退了出去。邓巴、多布斯和亨格利.乔快活放肆地大吼大叫着，把房间里所有他们举得动的东西一件接一件地从窗子往外扔。不一会，他们就把床上的铺盖和地板上的行李统统扔光了。他们正打算去洗劫一个杉木衣柜时，通往里间的门又打开了。一个相貌出众但却赤身裸体的男人趾高气扬地光着脚走了进来。
“喂，你们给我住手，”他叫道，“你们这帮家伙知道自己在干什么吗？”
“瞧瞧你这副脏样，”邓巴对他说。
这个人和方才第一个人一样双手捂住羞处溜走了。内特利正要去追他，不料那第一个军官又抱着个枕头遮住自己的羞处回来了。他像跳裸体舞那样摇摇摆摆地挡住了内特利的去路。
“喂，你们这些家伙！”他愤怒地吼叫道，“给我住手！”
“给我住手，”邓巴回嘴道。
“这是我说的。”
“这是我说的，”邓巴说。这军官的锐气给挫了下去，他急躁地跺着脚。“你是在故意重复我说的每一句话吗？”
“你是在故意重复我说的每一句话吗？”
“我要揍你一顿。”这人举起了拳头。
“我要揍你一顿。”邓巴冷冷地警告他。“你是个德国间谍，我要叫人毙了你。”
“德国间谍？我是个美国上校。”
“你根本不像个美国上校。你活像个身体前面放了个枕头的大胖子。你要是个美国上校，那你的制服哪里去了？”
“你们刚刚扔到窗外去了。”
“好吧，弟兄们，”邓巴说，“把这个笨蛋关起来。把他带到警察局去，把钥匙扔掉。”
上校的脸都吓白了。“你们都疯了吗？你们的徽章呢？喂，你，快回到这儿来！”
可是他转身太迟了，没能拉注内特利，内特利瞥见他的女人坐在另一间房子的沙发上，便从他背后一个箭步蹿进门去。其他的人随着他一拥而进，闯到了那群赤身裸体的大人物中间。亨格利.乔一看到他们便歇斯底里地大笑起来。他不相信地挨个指指他们，又伸出双臂，一会抱住自己的脑袋，一会搂住自己的腰。两个满身肥膘的家伙蛮横地冲着他们迎上来，直到他们看出多布斯和邓巴脸上的厌恶和敌意，注意到多布斯双手仍然握着那个他在起居室里砸东西用的锻铁烟灰缸架上下左右挥舞个不停，这才停住脚步。内特利已经站到了他的女人身边。她盯着他看了好几秒钟，才把他认出来。她软弱无力地笑了笑，闭上眼睛把头伏到了他的肩膀上。内特利欣喜若狂，她以前从来没有对他笑过。
“菲尔波，”一个镇静、瘦削、面容疲倦的人一直坐在沙发上一动不动，这会他开口了。“你没有执行命令。我叫你把他们赶出去，你却出去把他们带了进来。你难道看不出这其中的矛盾之处吗？”
“他们把我们的东西都从窗口扔出去了，将军。”
“他们干得好。我们的制服也扔出去了吗、聪明极了。没有制服，我们永远没有办法使人相信我们是上级。”
“我们把他们的名字记下来吧，罗，和——”
“噢，内德，放松点，”那个瘦子带着习惯性的疲倦神情说，“你指挥装甲师作战也许很有本事，可对社会上的事情你却几乎无能为力。迟早我们总会找回我们的制服，到那时我们就又是他们的上级了。他们真的把我们的制服扔出去了吗，这一招干得漂亮极了。”
“他们把所有东西部扔出去了。”
“把衣柜里的东西也扔出去了吗？”
“他们连衣柜都扔出去了，将军，就是我们刚才听到的咣当一声，当时我们还以为他们要冲进来杀我们呢。”
“接下来我就要把你扔出去了，”邓巴威胁道。
将军的脸有点发白。“他究意为什么火气这么大？”他问约塞连。
“他说得出就做得到，”约塞连说，“你们最好让这姑娘离开。”
“天哪，把她带走吧，”将军松了口气，大声说，“她在这儿所做的一切都使我们觉得摸不透。至少，她要是嫌我们付给她的一百美元太少，她可以对我们表示不满或者怨恨，可她连这一点都不愿意做。你那个英俊的年轻朋友看来是迷上她了。你们瞧瞧，他假装替她往上提裤子，手指头却在她的大腿根摸个不停。”
内特利的行为当场被人揭穿，羞得满脸通红，赶快急急忙忙地把衣服一件件全给她套上。她睡得很熟，呼吸十分均匀，似乎在轻轻地打鼾。
“我们现在就冲上去把她夺回来，罗！”另一个军官怂恿说，“我们的人比他们多，我们可以包围——”
“噢，不，比尔，”将军叹了一口气说，“说到天气好时在平原上指挥一场钳形攻势，对付已经出动了全部后备力量的敌人，你也许是个奇才。但你在别的方面思路并不总是那么清楚。我们为什么应该留住她呢？”
“将军，从战略上讲，我们处于劣势。我们的身上全都一丝不挂，对于那个不得不下楼穿过门厅到外面去取衣服的人来说，这将会是很掉价、很难堪的。”
“是的，菲尔波，你说得很对，”将军说，“这恰恰就是为什么你应该去干这件事的原因。去取衣服吧。”
“赤身裸体去吗，长官？”
“你要是愿意的话，就带上你的枕头，你下去捡我的内衣内裤时，带点香烟回来，好吗？”
“我可以把所有的东西部给你送上来，”约塞连凑上去说。
“这下好了，将军，”菲尔波松了一口气说，“现在我不用去了。”
“菲尔波，你这个傻瓜，你难道看不出他说的是谎话吗？”
“你说的是谎话吗？”
约塞连点点头。菲尔波的希望破灭了。约塞连大笑起来，然后帮助内特利搀着他的女人走到走廊里，进了电梯。她仍然在睡觉。
她的脑袋依然伏在内特利的肩上，脸上浮现出一丝微笑，好像正在做着一个美梦。多布斯和邓巴跑到街上叫住了一辆出租车。
下车的时候，内特利的妓女抬头看了看。他们艰难地沿着她公寓的楼梯往上爬时，她干咽了好几口唾沫，可等到内特利帮她脱衣服上床时，她又已经睡熟了，她一觉睡了十八个小时。第二天整个早上，内特利在公寓里跑来跑去，逢人就发出嘘声。她醒来时，心中充满了对他的爱情。归根到底，赢得她的心只需要一件事——一夜好觉。
她睁开眼睛看见他时，心满意足地笑了。随后，她在瑟瑟作响的被单底下懒洋洋地伸了伸她修长的双腿，招手叫他上床躺在她的身边。她哧哧地傻笑着，一副春情勃发的白痴模样。内特利高兴得神魂颠倒，欣喜若狂地朝她走过去。就连她的小妹妹冲进房间，扑到床上硬把他们俩分开时，他都几乎一点没生气。内特利的妓女对她的妹妹又打又骂，不过这次是满怀深情地笑着这样干的。内特利沾沾自喜地一只胳膊搂着一个女人倚在床上，觉得自己强壮有力，足以保护她们。他在心里想，他们三个人在一起肯定会组成一个美满幸福的家庭。等到这小姑娘够年龄时，她一定要去上大学，上史密斯学院，拉德克利夫学院或者布林马尔学院——这件事将由他来办。几分钟后，内特利跳下床去，扯开嗓子叫唤着，向他的朋友宣布他的好消息。他兴高采烈地叫他们到她的房间来，可他们刚到门口，他又砰的一声把门关上了，吓了他们一跳，因为他这时才想起来，他的姑娘还没有穿衣服呢。
“快穿上衣服。”他命令她，暗自庆幸自己的机警。
“出了什么事？”她好奇地问。
“出了什么事？”他宠爱地笑着重复了一遍。“因为我不愿意让他们看见你光着身子的模样。”
“不愿意？”她问。
“不愿意？，”他惊讶地看了看她。“因为让别的男人看见你的裸体是不对头的，这就是为什么。”
“不对头？”
“因为我这么说了。”内特利恼火地发作起来。“听着，不许跟我犟嘴。我是你的男人，我说什么，你就得做什么。从现在起，你要是不把衣服全穿上，我就不许你走出这间房子。明白了吗？”
内特利的妓女看看他，好像他是个疯子似的。“你疯了吗？”
“我说的话句句算数。”
“你疯了！”她不敢相信地冲他叫着，愤怒地从床上跳下来。她一把扯过短裤套上，大步朝门口走去，嘴里乱七八糟地不知在喊叫些什么。
内特利像一个十足的男子汉似的威严地挺直了腰板。“我不准你这个样子离开这间房子，”他对她说。
“你疯了！”她冲出房门后，一边回身冲他喊，一边不相信地摇着脑袋。“你这个白痴！你这个傻乎乎的疯子！”
“你疯了！”她那瘦小的妹妹边说边学着她姐姐的样子傲慢地往外走。
“你给我回来！”内特利命令她。“我也不准你这个样子出去。”
“你这个白痴！”那小妹妹从他身旁冲过去之后，回过头来庄严地对他大声说，“你这个傻乎乎的疯子！”
内特利心烦意乱却又拿她们没有办法。他愤愤地在原地转了几个圈，便飞快地冲进起居室，想阻止他的朋友看见他的女友，她只穿着一条短裤正在向他们抱怨他呢。
“为什么不能看？”邓巴问。
“为什么不能看？”内特利叫道，“因为她现在是我的女人了，她还没穿好衣服，你们就看到了她，这是不对头的。”
“为什么不对头？”邓巴问。
“你们看到了吧？”他的女人耸耸肩说，“他疯了！”
“对，他真疯了！”她的小妹妹附和着。
“要是你不想让我们看见她的裸体，那就叫她穿上衣服嘛，”亨格利.乔分辩道，“你到底想要我们怎么样？”
“她不肯听我的话，”内特利局促不安地承认道，“所以，从现在起，当她这个样子进来时，你们大伙都闭上眼睛，或者转脸看着别处，行吗？”
“圣母玛丽亚！”他的女人恼怒地叫了一声，一跺脚冲出了房间。
“圣母玛丽亚！”她的小妹妹也叫了一声，跺了跺脚跟着她跑了出去。
“他疯了，”约塞连和和气气他说，“这点我敢肯定。”
“喂，你是疯了还是怎么了？”亨格利.乔质问内特利。“接下来你要干的大概是不许她再接客了。”
“从现在起，”内特利对他的女人说，“我不许你外出接客。”
“为什么？”她好奇地问。
“为什么？”他吃惊地尖叫起来。“因为这不体面，这就是为什么！”
“为什么不体面？”
“就因为不体面！”内特利坚持道，“一个像你这样体面的姑娘跑到外面去找别的男人睡觉，实在太不应该了。你需要多少钱我就给你多少钱，所以你不必再去干这种事情了。”
“那我整天干些什么呢？”
“干什么？”内特利反问道，“你的朋友干什么，你也可以干什么。”
“我的朋友跑去找男人睡觉。”
“那么你就去交几个新朋友吧！不管怎么说，我再也不许你和那种女人来往！卖淫是不道德的！每个人都知道这一点，甚至这个家伙。”他满怀信心地转向那个阅历丰富的老头。“我讲的对吗？”
“你讲错了，”老头回答说，“卖淫使她有了接触男人的机会，给她提供了新鲜的空气和有益于健康的运动，而且还帮她摆脱了烦恼。”
“从现在起，”内特利严厉地对他的女人宣布道，“我不准你跟这个坏老头有任何来往。”
“圣母玛丽亚！”他的女人恼火地抬眼望着天花板说。“他到底要我干什么？”她晃了晃拳头问。“走开！”她半是威胁半是请求他说道，“要是你觉得我的朋友全都这么坏，那就告诉你的朋友别再老来缠着我的朋友。”
“从现在起，”内特利对他的朋友说，“我认为你们这帮家伙不应该再去缠住她的朋友，你们都应该成家了。”
“圣母玛丽亚！”他的朋友们恼火地抬眼望着天花板叫道。
内特利的精神完全失常了。他要他们大家全都马上恋爱结婚。
邓巴可以娶奥尔的妓女，约塞连可以爱上达克特护士或者他看上的随便别的什么女人。战争结束后，他们可以一起为内特利的父亲工作，在同一个郊区把他们的孩子养大。内特利仿佛清清楚楚地看到了这一切。爱情一夜之间把他变成了一个耽于幻想的白痴。他们把他赶回到卧室，让他为了布莱克上尉而去跟他的女人吵架。她同意不再跟布莱克上尉上床，也不再把内特利的钱给他，可是在她与那个丑陋、邋遢、行为放荡、心地肮脏的老头之间的友谊这个问题上，她却寸步不让。这老头带着侮辱性的嘲弄神情目睹了内特利爱情之花开放的全过程，并且坚决不肯同意美国国会是世界上最伟大的审议机构这一观点。
“从现在起，”内特利态度坚决地命令他的女人，“我绝对不准你再跟那个讨厌的老家伙讲一句话。”
“又是那个老头吗？”那女人困惑不解地呜咽着说，“为什么不准？”
“他不喜欢我们的众议院。”
“我的妈呀！你到底是怎么回事呀？”
她的小妹妹平静地说，“他就是出了这种毛病。”
“对，”她的姐姐马上表示同意。她抬起双手将自己的棕色头发扯来扯去。
然而，内特利离开以后，她又非常想念他。当约塞连使尽全身力气一拳打在内特利的脸上，打断了他的鼻梁骨，使他住进了医院时，她对约塞连怒火满腔。
